Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
