if i can run in heels then i can drive
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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