terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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