Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
