I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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