hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Randomize
