That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
