But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
