I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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