Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
