Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
