I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I don't think brook has ever known best
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
