OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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