you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
