I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
