y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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