well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
