worst night to have a conscience
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You made out with two different species that night
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
