sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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