Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
