Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
