I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
There's even glitter on my cock...
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