This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
