Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
