I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Umm I'm too high to move.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
