All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
