where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
