I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
try to milk me bitch
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