Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
