Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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