I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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