your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
