Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
