i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize