I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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