People in love make me want to vomit
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
