that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
