i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
