Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize