Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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