All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
