smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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