so let's talk penis.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
