Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
