I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just want nice things and good sex
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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