im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
