Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize