if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
