Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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