you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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