glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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