Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
