I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
