I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
as a side note pls kill me
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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