My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
