do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize