She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
