Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Be still, my beating vagina.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
