I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
