Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize