It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
