im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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