I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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