And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
