How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
