That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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