We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How's work?
Spinning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
