im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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