Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
