I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
