I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
