Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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