Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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