Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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